The Joys of Retail

As I may have mentioned before, I work in a women's clothing store. And the holiday season can be hell for those of us who work in retail. But every now and again, a little ray of sunshine stops into the store to brighten our overworked, overstressed lives.

As I was on my lunch break one day, a coworker decided to relate one of these customer incidents to me.

Other Manager: So, did you hear how we made our gift card goal the other day?

Me: No. [Insert name of big boss] didn't want to talk about it.

OM: Oh, let me tell you then. (breaking into big Cheshire cat smile) So, I had this woman come up to the register with thirty gift cards, five each of the different styles.

Me: (warily) Um-hmm...

OM: And then she tells me she wants one cent on each of them.

Me: ( choking) A penny?

OM: Yes, a penny. And then asks if I have to swipe them to activate. And when I say yes, she hands me a piece of gift card sized cardboard to put in front of it. So I just asked, why? And then she says, I'm a gift card collector. I have over five thousand gift cards in my collection, and yours are just lovely.

Me: You're making this up.

OM: No I'm not and it gets better. I said to her, Oh really? Collect gift cards, and she says, yes, you have no idea. I had multiple orgasms when I walked in here and saw your gift card display.

At this point I was laughing so hard I cried. The other manager had been relaying this story to her mom, who also works at a store in another local mall, and apparently crazy gift card lady traveled all over the region collecting gift cards from various merchants.

And please, if you ever find yourself becoming really really excited about something you find in a store, there is no need to share that with the store employees.