Rant political

Earlier in the week, the Moron-in-Chief felt the need to tell the American public once again how wonderful it is that we are killing people in Iraq.

That's a lot of tripe to try and stomach, so here's the highlight:

The temptation in today's society is to say, it's not worth it. Or, certain people can't self-govern. It's really part of the debate in Iraq, isn't it, when you think about it -- is, can these people self-govern? And I can understand why some in America say they can't, because all they see is unbelievable violence. And we're a country of deep compassion. We care. One of the great things about America, one of the beauties of our country, is that when we see a young, innocent child blown up by an IED, we cry. We don't care what the child's religion may be, or where that child may live, we cry. It upsets us. The enemy knows that, and they're willing to -- they're willing to kill to shake our confidence. That's what they're trying to do.

First, Iraq is self-governing? Who knew? Us sending our military over there to oust their government (as awful as their government may have been), training their military and police forces, and awarding reconstruction contracts to American companies is self-governing? Mmmmkay.


One of the great things about America, one of the beauties of our country, is that when we see a young, innocent child blown up by an IED, we cry. We don't care what the child's religion may be, or where that child may live, we cry.

Oh where do I start? Who the hell is this "we" that man thinks he speaks for? Because it sure as hell ain't me. It ain't millions of American mothers who mourn every child, the children who died during Katrina, the children who starve every day in this country, the children who are blown up around the world by American weapons.

He sure as hell isn't talking about Reverend Phelps and his followers, the Americans who support cutting funding to Head Start, the kind of Americans who voted for the Emperor without Clothes.

I'm beginning to see a pattern

You Are a Rainbow

Breathtaking and rare You are totally enchanting and intriguing But you usually don't stick around long! You are best known for: your beauty Your dominant state: seducing

What Type of Weather Are You?

It's official. My mind is permanently in the gutter. Lightning is so much cooler than rainbows.

A rose by any other name

Cecilia Fire Thunder.

That that is a kick-ass name for a kick-ass woman.

Bill Napoli. That's what you name a man who says:

A real-life description to me would be a rape victim, brutally raped, savaged. The girl was a virgin. She was religious. She planned on saving her virginity until she was married. She was brutalized and raped, sodomized as bad as you can possibly make it, and is impregnated. I mean, that girl could be so messed up, physically and psychologically, that carrying that child could very well threaten her life

And if anyone out there knows Senator Napoli, perhaps you'd care to get him to define "simple rape" and why should simple rape victims not be permitted abortions.

Life of crime

I've been a bad, bad girl, apparently.

Boy Star: Mommy, you're a bad guy.

Daddy Star: Be nice to mommy.

Boy Star: She's a bad guy.

Daddy Star: What did mommy do that was bad?

Boy Star: She stole someone's purse.

Momma Star: Oh really? When did I steal someone's purse?

Boy Star: Friday at eight.

I'm a purse thief with a stool pigeon for a kid.

More Morons

So how much does this cost the city?

Officials said the man in question was shooting at pigeons when witnesses spotted him with the weapon and alerted police.

So, yeah, who wants to come visit Pittsburgh?

Addiction

Thanks Atticus for the much more appropriate quiz.

You Are a Soy Latte

At your best, you are: free spirited, down to earth, and relaxed At your worst, you are: dogmatic and picky You drink coffee when: you need a pick me up, and green tea isn't cutting it Your caffeine addiction level: medium

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

Bwahahahahaha

Your Stripper Song Is

by Def Leppard "Love is like a bomb, baby, c'mon get it on Livin' like a lover with a radar phone Lookin' like a tramp, like a video vamp Demolition woman, can I be your man?" Break out the baby oil, you rock it old school.

What Song Should You Strip To?

Okay, but the really funny part is what I used to think "radar phone" was.

The joys of parenthood

Baby Star has been sleeping by himself all night for two weeks now.

I am now getting more than five hours consecutive sleep for the first time since 2001.

So last night, after enjoying a lovely cup of cocoa, and watching an hour of the even-lovelier McDreamy I snuggled under the flannel sheets and comforter (spring? where?) for a lovely trip to dreamland.


All you moms know where this is going ....

1:40 I'm awakened from the perfect deep sleep and in an instant realize Daddy Star is snoring and Baby Star is crying. Pick baby up. Diaper's fine. Baby's not too cold. Pop the binky back in, tell him "night-night time", and head to the couch. Plan to give him half an hour to fall back asleep then sneak into bed.

3:40 Wake up hanging half off of the couch, blanket twisted around my knees. Head to the bedroom, quietly open the door and peek head in. Baby is squirming and making those restless baby sighs. Head back to couch.

5:15 Boy Star yelling for Daddy. I go into his room. "My covers fell off." Somehow his arms magically break every night. Back to couch.

5:25 Daddy Star comes out of bedroom. "Baby's crying." I head back to bed, picking baby up to nurse. Boy Star screaming for Mommy now, "I have to pee."

Daddy Star gets Boy back to bed. Baby nurses until he's drowsy. We fall back asleep for an hour.

Starbucks will never go out of business as long as I have small children.

Leavin' on a jetplane

Lookee what we're getting!

Momma Star is embarassed to admit she isn't very well-traveled. And she's had no income of her own for four years now, which tends to limit traveling money.

But but but. There are some family events this summer for which Daddy Star will owe Momma Star. Big time.

Boston or New York? Boston or New York?

Can you hear me now?

If this is what they're doing over there, every last one of them can come home now.

News of the whackjobs

I am surrounded by morons.

Did you know that you should teach your child not to drink by giving him alcohol poisoning?

Hmmm. My grandfather caught my father smoking when he was a kid and forced dad to smoke the entire pack. Forty years later my father still smokes. He's currently in the hospital being treated for pneumonia.

And did you know that when a seven-month-old baby falls off a bed, you should
pick her up and throw her back on the bed. And when that fails, shake her.

Here. It's a link to the Planned Parenthood facilities in Pennsylvania. Throw some chlorine into the gene pool.

Hey Nineteen

Another Saturday earworm-inspired entry. Yes I'm old enough to know Steely Dan.

Really I just have a mom who has better musical taste than I do, but she ran off to San Francisco in the 70's, so whatever....

Anyhow.

It's been an entire decade since I turned nineteen. That year was the only time, as an adult, I was single. And in my experience, there are very few situations where it's actually romantic to have on old guy hitting on you. Even when the old guy has way more money than sense and offers you a ride in his helicopter. Especially when the old guy takes one look at you, turns to your mother, and asks, "Is she available?"

(God bless her, she said "Available for what?")

And it's amazing what an "old guy" is to a nineteen year old.

Anyhow, I don't know how the court will rule, but I'm pretty certain Anna Nicole Smith earned her money.

Randomness

Know what I love? Cracking open a new Moleskine and destroying that pristine first page with really illegible cursive. Let's ignore the fact that I've had said notebook in my possession since Christmas (thanks again secret Santa). The lovely and celestial Om mentioned something about someone and someone else being in retrograde leading to creativity. What do I know from Venus? Just that Om is always right.

And until I become sufficiently creative, read this.

International Women's Day

Yeah, the irony strikes me, too.

Tools of the Patriarchy

The political pendulum has swung a little too far to the right for Momma Star's comfort. As much as she may want a girl child, perhaps now is not the best time to be bringing one into the world. It's going to be hard enough teaching the Twinkles that women are fully equal human beings not put her to serve their sexual gratification.

So, these new abortion laws. Anyone else having nightmares yet?

As women have always done, we will continue to support other women, even if that means acting illegally. To that end, and while it's still legal to disseminate information, Molly has posted how to perform abortion entries on her blog. The one I have linked is a description of a d&c.

A warning, this information is very difficult to read if one has a weak stomach.

Also, please, if you have wandered upon this blog and are considering an abortion do not attempt this. While you still can see a doctor or clinic. Planned Parenthood is a good place to start if you need these services. And if you're looking for a way to help in the fight to keep women's reproductive chouces legal, NARAL has several ways you can make a difference.

/soapbox

Strawberry, we hardly knew you

For any readers who may have stumbled across this blog who aren't parents, the toy industry tries to make money off of us by re-selling our childhoods to our children.

Recent years have seen the return of Care Bears, Cabbage Patch Kids, and Strawberry Shortcake.

I guess old Strawberry hasn't been earning her share of the market, because she has been refashioned as a pimped out ho-bag.

Okay, so maybe she's still one step away from the vapidity of a Bratz doll. But please, was this necessary?

I don't even have girl children, but I'm weeping for them.