Best Christmas gift

These are the Backyardigans.

Yes, take a moment to appreciate the irony of a television show about playing in the backyard.

The music in this show is actually enjoyable. And since Nickelodeon cannot air a show without marketing the hell out of it, the Backyardies have just released a cd. How very twenty-first century of them.

This is all the Star family has been listening to on our various holiday car trips. And neither Grown-up Star has been driven to homicidal mania. Now if I could just figure out what a yeti smells like.

Stuff

The Bacchanalian obscenity known as unwrapping the presents on Christmas morning has once again past, and once again I wonder why why why must they package kids toys with so much plastic garbage? Why do they hate the environment? Why must the ten dollar blocks be hermetically sealed, after being tied down by one thousand plastic wires? Is there really such rampant thievery in suburban America? Are the ten dollar blocks truly in such high demand?

Next year the little twinkles are getting cardboard boxes.

Sinatra

My apologies to the Verizon customer in Providence who was Googling for song lyrics. If it helps any, I now have a fierce earworm.

Shopping

How is it that a company that claims an item is on backorder until mid-January could e-mail me yesterday writing said item has shipped?

This is completely screwing with my equal allotment of presents for the Little Twinkles.

Egads, I might have to head to the *gasp* mall.

SiteMeter

In case you haven't noticed the tiny little tag down there, I now can can see how people get to my little corner of the milky way.

It makes me feel all Santa-like, knowing who's been naughty and nice.

Whomever found me by searching for "mile porn" is definitely getting coal.

Gifts

So, you know, we have these boy children.

Christmas somehow becomes such a, hmmm, force once children arrive. Suddenly there are all sorts of new people in one's life that Christmas cards are sent to. And the cards require pictures, naturally. And stamps -- we spend enough in stamps to feed several third world countries for the month. And let's not tell Daddy Star I have to head back to the post office tomorrow morning.

And the things. Oh the things people buy for children. Our boys are the first grandchildren on all sides of the family. I'm told this is a good thing, but when we show up at the grandparents and their living room looks as if Toys R Us puked like a Bush twin after a kegger it is not a good thing.

So what are we getting the boys for Christmas? I have no. freaking. clue. They already own more than one of everything. Paper clip chains? Rocks? Underwear and socks? Empty boxes?

World AIDS Day

Okay, class, one more time.

This is a condom. Use it.